Marriage and Family: God's Design - Satan's Distortion

Community Group Discussion Guide
Sermon Summary
This message discusses five concepts of marriage and family which can be found in Genesis 2:18-25. Marriage between a man and a woman as companions for life was God’s design! However, Satan will always try to distort and destroy the good things God has ordained. This message encourages people to embrace God’s design for Biblical marriage and family relationships.

Community Group Discussion Questions
1. What are your thoughts on the President making the call to NBA star Jason Collins to congratulate his courage in coming out as a gay? Please remember to respect the office of the President even though we may disagree strongly with him. Also remember to keep our President in your prayers and remember Peter’s admonition...
1 Pet 2:17  Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.

2. Biblical and traditional definitions of marriage have come under increasing attack in recent years. Why do you think this is happening and what if anything can we do to reverse the trend? Jesus faced questions about marriage as well. Read the following passage as you think about our situation in today’s world.

Mat 19:3  Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
Mat 19:4  "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'
Mat 19:5  and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?
Mat 19:6  So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

3. The Bible talks about the man and woman submitting one to another. There are differences in the way a man and woman submit to one another. A man submits by being a servant leader and the woman submits by encouraging her husband to provide Godly leadership. The Bible also speaks of being help-mates. What are some ways a Godly man and a Godly woman can complement each other in their relationship?
Gen 2:18  The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Eph 5:21  Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Eph 5:22  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Eph 5:26  to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
Eph 5:27  and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
Eph 5:28  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

4. God hates divorce but not the people who have been divorced. God offers forgiveness and redemption when we face failures in life. However, God is grieved when divorce happens and you never hear people who have been divorced recommend it. What are some things we can do to encourage our young people to be better prepared for marriage and to help those who may be struggling in their marriage to make their marriage stronger? We find some hints in the following passage.
Titus 2:1  You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine.
Titus 2:2  Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
Titus 2:3  Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.
Titus 2:4  Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children,
Titus 2:5  to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Titus 2:6  Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.
Titus 2:7  In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness
Titus 2:8  and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned...

Sermon

A video was shone in which NBA  all star Michael Redd talks about his faith in high school, college and then as an NBA player. He was picked on at times for not being involved in drinking and sex before marriage. However, he stayed strong and kept his eyes on Jesus!!

What does that video have to do with Marriage and Family?

That guy didn't get a call from the president! But another NBA player who comes out of the closet and announces to the world he's decided to live an alternative lifestyle gets a call and is lifted up as a role model.  

Before you judge me, anyone who knows me, knows, I'm not a hater! I have dear friends who live the alternative lifestyle, and they know I don't agree with their choices, but they also know I love them very much and would be there for them in a heart beat if they needed me. However, I'll never encourage a lifestyle that goes against God's design and embraces Satan's distortion.  

The media loves to portray anyone who disagrees with the modern day move to redefine sexuality, marriage, and family, as bigots, and haters. They love to lump all Christians into the category of the few who walk around with signs saying God hates certain people.

I'm hear to tell you this morning, that God so loved the World that He gave His Only Begotten Son, and so loved the world includes everyone in the world, and I mean everyone. God hates sin, but loves the sinner!!

God hates heterosexual sin every bit as much as he hates homosexual sin because it destroys His intention and designs for marriage and family!

Make no bones about it, when it comes to marriage and family, Satan is all about distortion, deception and destruction of God's design!

This morning we begin one of the most important series of messages we've ever done. Several months ago, our staff met and discussed what we believed to be our church's greatest need. Marriage and Family was it! Evidently we are not the only ones feeling the urgency of this matter. I understand Church of The King is also in a series on family.

During this series you'll hear messages from different staff members on different aspects of family and marriage. Messages for singles, for children, for husbands, for wives, for fathers, and for mothers. You won't want to miss a single message.

 Here's a couple of questions for us…
How can our church family be healthy if our church families are not?
How can we minister effectively to those outside the church if those inside the church are being devastated by the same things that are devastating the world?

Let's pray and ask God to guide our thoughts and our actions in the very important area of Marriage and Family!

Pray!!!

Let me share with you our denomination's statement on Marriage and Family. I believe it to be very well stated and very much in line with God's precious Word...

"God has ordained the family as the foundational institution of human society. It is composed of persons related to one another by marriage, blood or adoption. Marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime.


It is God's unique gift to reveal the union between Christ and His church, and to provide for the man and the woman in marriage the framework for intimate companionship, the channel for sexual expression according to biblical standards, and the means for procreation of the human race.

The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God's image. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family.

A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation...

Children, from the moment of conception, are a blessing and heritage from the Lord. Parents are to demonstrate to their children God's pattern for marriage. Parents are to teach their children spiritual and moral values and to lead them, through consistent lifestyle, example, and loving discipline, to make choices based on biblical truth. Children are to honor and obey their parents."

Source. SBC.ORG
 

That's a powerful statement and one I fully believe to be consistent with Scripture. And speaking of Scripture, let's read our text for today found in Genesis 2:18-25

18The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2:18 (NIV)

19Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.
Genesis 2:19 (NIV)

20So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
Genesis 2:20 (NIV)

21So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
Genesis 2:21 (NIV)

22Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
Genesis 2:22 (NIV)

23The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, ’ for she was taken out of man. ”
Genesis 2:23 (NIV)

24For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 (NIV)

25The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
Genesis 2:25 (NIV)

ETS: God saw that it was not good for the man to be alone so He took a rib from the man, created a woman and gave them the ability to create a family!

ESS: Marriage and Family are concepts created by God for the well being of humanity!

OSS: It is my prayer that each of us will embrace God's design for marriage and family!

Probing Question: What concepts of marriage and family can be discovered from this text and how has Satan tried to distort them?

Let's take a look...

Concept #1

It was not good for man to be alone, he needed a helper!

18The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2:18 (NIV)

Now I know some people are called to be single. Andrew will bring a message in a few weeks which will speak more in depth about that, however, for most of us guys, anyway, it's just not good for us to be alone and we need a helper!
God designed us this way!

 Satan's distortion is for husbands and wives to believe they don't need each other. I don't need her help. I don't need his protection. I don't need her advice. I don't need his leadership.

Don't buy into Satan's distortions!


My wife has been such an important part of the ministry God called me to do. And let me be quick to say, I believe God called Debbie to partner with me in ministry. She has been a major source of strength, encouragement, inspiration and  wisdom. Her willingness to allow God to speak through her to me continues to be a blessing in my life.

Guys, let me just say this, if you ignore the woman's perspective that comes through your wife, you do so at your peril. God knew it was not good for you to be alone, so why do you pridefully act like you don't need her advice, help and wisdom? You do. God created her to be a help mate for you. Let her help you!

I can't tell you how many times my wife has saved me from fashion disaster.
I'll get dressed and walk out of the room and my wife, says, "Nope, you can't wear that, it just doesn't work!" Your response should be, "Oh, okay, thanks! Could you help me pick something that will go together?"

By the way, guys, you can call it a double standard if you like, but unless you have a degree in fashion design, try not to give your wife fashion advice. It's just not advisable!

Dr. Nave is going to preach a message to our ladies, so I don't want to say to much here, but here's what God's Word has to say about a Godly wife...

26She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
Proverbs 31:26 (NIV)

Concept #2

God created the woman from man's side!

21So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
Genesis 2:21 (NIV)

22Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man...
Genesis 2:22 (NIV)

There's a beautiful old saying that puts it this way...

"God did not take a bone from Adam's head that she might rule over him nor from his foot that he might rule over her, but from under his arm that he might protect he, from near his heart that he might cherish her!"

 Satan's distortion is for man to think he owns or rules the woman instead of giving Godly leadership. Satan's distortion is for the woman to automatically think a man's leadership is ill-motivated.

Again, marriage is a partnership! It is a joint venture. Remember God's Word in Ephesians states very clearly this concept...

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:21 (NIV)

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
Ephesians 5:22 (NIV)

 and then in verse 25...

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Ephesians 5:25 (NIV)

26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
Ephesians 5:26 (NIV)

27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
Ephesians 5:27 (NIV)

28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Ephesians 5:28 (NIV)

29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—
Ephesians 5:29 (NIV)

Concept #3

Marriage was God's idea!



22Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
Genesis 2:22 (NIV)

Marriage was God's idea and He intended for it to be a lifetime, till death do us part, covenant.
Let me tell you something shocking.
Some have taken the liberty to rewrite their marriage vows. I will not use them in a ceremony I perform.



 Talk about Satan' distortion!!

Instead of "So long as we both shall live!"

Some are saying, "So long as we both shall love!"

 What? So long as we both shall love?
You mean, when the bubbly, butterfly, feelings in the tummy start to wain, you'll start to look elsewhere? You mean when you don't "feel" like you love them anymore, you'll go searching for a feeling?
That's nonsense and Satan's distortion of what true marriage is all about!!

 You know what the problem with this is? Many people today are hooked on feelings, just like some people are hooked on drugs. If the feelings aren't there, the commitment is thrown out the window.

Here's the modern day culture's theme song...



 Here's the problem. Feelings change! Feelings come and go!
That's why God made marriage a covenant, a commitment, a promise, a vow!
Here's an amazing concept…
If both husband and wife are willing to work on the marriage the feelings will follow, if not, the feelings will die!

 If you're not willing to work on the marriage, I don't care how great it was at the beginning, the feelings will begin to fade, atrophy sets in and the feelings will die.
Some of you have experienced this.

I know many in this room have had the unfortunate experience of divorce in your past. You know what I'm talking about.

By the way, let me tell you something I've never, ever heard from anyone who has gone through a divorce…

"It was a great thing and I fully recommend it!"

Never, ever heard that, not even once!

Here's what God says about divorce...

14...the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
Malachi 2:14 (NIV)

15Has not └the LORD┘ made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.
Malachi 2:15 (NIV)

16“I hate divorce, ” says the LORD God of Israel...
Malachi 2:16 (NIV)

This says, "God hates divorce not divorcees!" Why does God hate divorce?
Divorce hurts!
It hurts the husband and wife!
It hurts the children!
It hurts the extended family, like grandparents, who have to deal with the fallout!


Listen, if you're divorced you have not committed the unpardonable sin! If you're remarried do all you can to make this marriage a Godly marriage that will last the rest of your life! Don't repeat the same mistakes.
If you're not remarried, don't just jump into another relationship! Seek God's will and pray for divine guidance!



If you are contemplating divorce, please think again! Divorce rarely solves the problems and usually creates many more. If your spouse is willing, the hard work of reconciliation is worth every ounce of strength and energy you put into it.

Marriage was and still is God's idea and it is God's ideal for human relationships...

Concept #4

Adam approved!





23The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, ’ for she was taken out of man. ”
Genesis 2:23 (NIV)

Adam wanted God to know the search for a suitable helpmate was over. When Adam saw Eve, he was overwhelmed with joy and basically wrote a poem right then and there.

"This is it!
Bone of my bones!
Flesh of my flesh!
Woman she shall be called!
Because from man she was taken!

Isn't it interesting that the first woman came from man and from then on, the man is born of the woman. In a wonderfully mysterious way, this teaches us that we need each other! Paul put it this way in his 1st letter to the Corinthians...

11In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.
1 Corinthians 11:11 (NIV)

12For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.
1 Corinthians 11:12 (NIV)

Again, Satan's distortion is the belief we don't need each other. That man doesn't need the woman and the woman doesn't need the man.

Nothing could be further from the truth!

 Concept #5
It is for the purpose of marriage and family that a man leaves his father and mother and unites with his wife!


24For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 (NIV)

25The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
Genesis 2:25 (NIV)

God's design for marriage is beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of!
In fact the Bible says this...

27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
Genesis 1:27 (NIV)

28God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground. ”
Genesis 1:28 (NIV)

Of course Satan wants to distort and deceive. He wants to confuse our young people and cause them to doubt the wisdom of God's design.
James Walker stated...

"The blueprint God has in mind for a marriage is a coupling of two distinct designs, one male and one female. To deny the uniqueness of the sexes and supplant God's sexual ground rules with a misguided struggle to swap roles or deny their existence altogether has serious consequences."

 Pastor John Piper writes...

 "Confusion over the meaning of sexual personhood today is epidemic. The consequence of this confusion is not a free and happy harmony among gender-free persons relating on the basis of abstract competencies...

 The consequence rather is more divorce, more homosexuality, more sexual abuse, more promiscuity, more social awkwardness, and more emotional distress and suicide that come with the loss of God-given identity."

What is the answer to this dilemma?

Dennis Rainey put it this way...

"Marriage is the most stunning, majestic relationship--the husband and wife show to the world the very image of the eternal God. One of the best places to get a living snapshot of His image is to look at a godly marriage. And the two sexes need each other."

Elisabeth Elliot Gren, wrote these words...

"Both male and female are created in His image. They bear the divine stamp. They are equally called to obedience and responsibility, but there are differences in the responsibilities."

So marriage, sexual oneness, bearing children, are beautiful in God's eyes. Family is beautiful in God's eyes. 

We must get back to the truth of God's Word as it pertains to Family and Marriage.

Let's teach our young men to accept and celebrate their manhood. Let's teach our young ladies to accept and celebrate their womanhood!

Let's pray!